The Express Lane -- to Poor Grammar

You have seen the signs. They are supposed to read, "9 items or fewer," not "9 items or less." The term "less" compares two of the same substances in different quantities (as in "I have less sugar than you have"), and the term, "fewer" properly compares different quantities of various kinds of items, as in, "I have fewer camels than you do." Or else one might say, "I have fewer toys under the tree than you do."

The reason why people easily confuse these terms -- less and fewer -- is that both of them sit opposite the word "more" in different contexts. This might be similar to confusing the terms "heavy" and "dark." Fortunately, no one does this.

Now who wants the job of rewriting all those signs? Technically, the numeral "9" should be spelled out, but that is forgivable in McWorld. But "9 items or less" just reads awkwardly. Oh, I know this seems pedantic in a world where teens do not spray paint the buildings grammatically, and consumers just care how fast they get through the line. But English teachers, authors, editors, homeschoolers and publishers have to buy groceries too.

Is it really fair to torture ONLY the customers who actually understand a little about English grammar? We may soon be wearing T-shirts which read,

"9 items or less," "that is the sort of nonsense up with which I will not put."