Some children are now ADDHDTV. This disease is characterized by the slow progress toward complete immobilization when eye-stricken for lengthy periods by very large, high resolution, television screens.
Early onset of symptoms resembles couch-potatoitis, and becomes contagious when children are allowed to hold onto the remote for too long. It eventually not only immobilizes its victims but nearly destroys all brain cells, leaving them unable to sing anything but commercial jingles, and quote lines from b movies.
Treatment includes pressing the off button, immediate educational field trips, denying them carloads of sugar during holidays, having actual conversations with your children about educational topics, forcing them to complete their chores, catechising them, reading stories to them, answering their questions, playing scrabble and monopoly (Capitalism rules) with them, and spanking them when they need discipline.
As an added bonus, research shows that playing capitalistic and mind-engaged games with your children bears a positive correlation with a reduced likelihood that they will grow up to be Democrats.
P.S. Why they use the hat, shoe and iron for the moving pieces in Monopoly is still uncertain, but Democrats have suggested this is most likely a textile industry conspiracy. They tossed the car in to throw us off track. This proves we are dealing with masterminds, which all the more commends the game, since we want to raise clever capitalists. While Global warming advocates want a thermometer added, rumor has it that Starbucks has been lobbying for a coffee mug addition to the present selection (a move with consequences yet to be determined).
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